jokes.txt

>English
>>Dad Jokes
Q:Why cant Jesus wear jewellery?
A:Because He breaks every chain
Q:Which Bible character had no parents?
A:Joshua, the son of Nun
Q:What kind of man Boaz was before he got married?
A:He was Ruth-less
Q:Who was the smallest person in the Bible?
A:Knee high miah!
Q:What car did the wise men drive to see Jesus?
A:Honda Accord. The Bible says the wise men all came in one accord.
Q:Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
A:Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Q:Who was the most business-savvy woman in the Bible?
A:Pharaoh’s daughter, who went down to the bank of the Nile and pulled out a little prophet.
Q:Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A:When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
Q:Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A:Samson. He brought the house down.
Q:Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
A:Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q:How does Moses start his morning? 
A:Hebrews a pot of coffee!
Q:At what time of day was Adam created?
A:A little before Eve.
Q:Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A:David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q:Did Eve ever have a date with Adam? 
A:No, just an apple.
Q:What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
A:Jesus can’t be topped.
Q:Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
A:He didn’t want to split hairs.
Q:Need an ark? 
A:I noah guy.
Q: Who is the smartest man in the bibile
A: Abraham, coz he knew a lot
Q: who is the best soccer player in the bible
A: Goaliath
Q: what animal noah can not trust
A: a cheater (cheetah)
Q: when was the first mention insurance in the bible
A: when adam & eve needed more coverage
Q: How do we know if peter is a rich fisher man
A: by his net income
Q: the most fit person in the bible
A: Abs-alom
Q: what is the miracle that can be done by a complainer
A: turning water into whine
Q: what kind of phone did delilah used
A: Samsung
Q: What minor prophet is famous because of cookies
A: Famous Amos
>>General Dad Jokes
Q: what do you call a sleeping dinosaur
A: Dino-snore
Q: Why does the bicycle cant stand up
A: because its two (too) tired
Q: Did u hear the rumour about the butter?
A: Well I'm not going to spread it
Q: When did a joke becomes a dad joke?
A: When it became apparent.
Q: What chese is not your
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: What do you call a fish with 2 knees
A: A tuna (two knee) fish
>>Mature Dad Jokes
Q: what is 3 shortest words in english
A: is it in?
Q: What does cinderella says when she gets to the ball
A: Gasp