Final Revision

cards.txt

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+LORE AND LEGENDS OF QUENDOR
+
+GRUE
+
+The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the
+earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is
+tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light
+of day; few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.
+
+DISCIPLINE CRAB
+
+Discipline crabs are small, moral crustaceans found in cellars, fallout
+shelters and other subterranean lairs. These brooding curmudgeons are
+deeply offended by the slightest intrusion; if cornered, they employ
+their razor-edged pincers with righteous efficiency.
+
+ELDRITCH VAPOR
+
+Eldritch vapors dwell in cemeteries, moors and other locales where fog
+will hide their evershifting forms. Gleeful and mischievous, they enjoy
+snatching away the possessions of those foolish enough to wander into
+their realm. Visitors without possessions are themselves snatched away.
+
+DORNBEAST
+
+Smart adventurers run the other way when they hear "Hurumph," the battle
+cry of the deadly dornbeast. Its 69 sensitive eyes can paralyze an
+unwary explorer with a single glare. Captured victims are plastered with
+round, sticky secretions that never come off.
+
+MONKEY GRINDER
+
+Avoid this nightmare at any cost! Spawn of a carnival necromancer, the
+monkey grinder can blast minds to jelly with its powerful Sense Organ.
+Deceptively eloquent in both manner and speech, these loathsome
+creatures actually possess little intelligence, and suffer an illiteracy
+rate of 103%.
+
+IMPLEMENTOR
+
+The Implementors are a race of minor deities who dwell on the Ethereal
+Plane of Atrii. Their ample free time is spent on costly luncheons where
+gossip and sweet nectars flow freely. Implementors do not discourage
+rumors that the world was created by them as a plaything.
+
+GIANT CORBIE
+
+Corbies are carrion birds with sharp eyesight and sharper beaks. Their
+color vision is so well developed, they can spot a yellow grotch in a
+hayfield from 200 bloits away. Corbies prefer the taste of dead, rotting
+flesh, but have been known to feast on live, running adventurers.
+
+CHRISTMAS TREE MONSTER
+
+Vast herds of these luminous vegetables roam freely amid the glacial
+valleys of the south. Residents fear the autumn migrations, in which the
+trees cheerfully trample everything in their path. Christmas tree
+monsters are repelled by caterpillars, but nobody can explain why.
+
+MINX
+
+Irresistably cuddly, the minx shares all the most ingratiating
+characteristics of kittens, koala bears and piglets. Minxes are highly
+prized for their ability to find and root out chocolate truffles from
+the ground, and will eagerly devour them if given the opportunity.
+
+UNICORN
+
+Most unicorns have fled to the Plane of TransInfinite Splendor, where
+they enjoy a carefree existence free from the cruelty of man. The
+unhappy few left behind are eagerly sought by zoos and private
+collectors. It is good luck to kiss a unicorn's horn; but woe to any
+fool who harms one.
+
+FROON
+
+Legends of this magical kingdom date back before the reign of Entharion
+the Wise (0-41 GUE). Said to lie somewhere beyond the clouds, Froon was
+the setting for a series of beloved children's books by L. Frank Fzort,
+and later became a successful movie musical starring Judy Garlic.
+
+HUNGUS
+
+Part sheep, part hippopotamus, the hungus builds its nest in jungle
+swamps and other hot, squishy places. Normally docile and eager to avoid
+conflict or activity of any kind, the hungus is fiercely clannish, and
+will instantly charge at anything that dares to threaten its kin.
+
+SPENSEWEED
+
+The healing virtues of this common roadside plant are well documented.
+Although it is safe to eat, spenseweed is most effective when applied
+directly to wounds as a salve. Avoid the cheap commercial preparations,
+which may contain artificial coloring and preservatives.
+
+CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE
+
+Chocolate truffles grow only between the roots of oak trees. Dark brown
+when fresh, they decompose rapidly once exposed to air. Truffles were a
+favorite of Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive (770-789 GUE), who
+ordered the excavation of entire forests to indulge his bottomless
+appetite.
+
+MOSS OF MAREILON
+
+First classified in 843 GUE by Thwack of Mareilon, this soft, pale
+fungus thrives in underground tunnels and public toilets. When squeezed,
+the moss releases an invisible cloud of spores which improves the
+dexterity of laboratory rat-ants. Its effect on other species is
+uncertain.
+
+COMPASS ROSE
+
+The stem of this rare annual always droops in the direction of the
+prevailing wind. Rumors that the compass rose can actually control the
+wind are hotly denied by the Guild of Meteorologists, who harvested the
+species to the brink of extinction in the Rose Riots of 811 GUE.
+
+MORGIA ROOT
+
+It is a rare enchanter who does not carry morgia root to gnaw on during
+a long journey. The mint-flavored juice improves stamina, slakes
+thirst and conceals bad breath. In domestic applications, morgia root is
+often baked into pies, and makes an excellent platypus stuffing.
+
+CRUEL PUPPET
+
+Few creatures are more despised than the cruel puppet. It attacks by
+twisting itself into unflattering caricatures of its opponent,
+accompanied by jeers, rude noises and shocking accusations. Staunch
+monarchs have been reduced to tears by these merciless shapeshifters.
+
+DUST BUNNY
+
+Dust bunnies burrow in obscure corners and under furniture, and defend
+their territory by multiplying. They can clog a passageway in seconds,
+filling the air with dark, suffocating particles. Static electricity and
+lemon-scented sprays are their only natural enemies.
+
+PHEEBOR
+
+Ruins of this ancient city are still visible at the confluence of the
+rivers Phee and Bor. The reason for its downfall (circa 400 BE) is
+unclear, but minstrels sing of a feud between Pheebor and its sister
+city Borphee over the naming of what is now called the Borphee River.
+
+RED HERRING
+
+These common fish patrol the dark recesses of freshwater pools and
+streams. But a handful of granola brings them racing to the surface, a
+fact known by every rural schoolboy. The old adage about red herrings
+being "good brain food" has no scientific basis.
+
+LUCKSUCKER
+
+Lucksuckers feed on good fortune. Part physical entity, part mental
+phenomenon, the sucker's appearance is based on the laws of probability,
+and may change without warning. Good luck charms provide only a
+temporary shield against attack. The best strategy is to run!
+
+UR-GRUE
+
+Ur-grues are thought to be the shades of fallen Implementors. Skilled in
+black sorcery, the ur-grue can envelop itself in a personal zone of
+darkness which neither lamp nor flame can penetrate. Sunlight is the
+only thing it fears. It is unwise even to speak of this utterly evil
+entity.
+
+THE COCONUT OF QUENDOR
+
+Though reluctant to dismiss the Coconut outright, most historians regard
+its historical existence as dubious at best. Orkan of Thriff has
+suggested that if all the "Shards of The One True Coconut" and "Vials of
+The Blessed Milk" were gathered in one place, they would form a stack
+nine bloits high.
+
+