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src/content/blogs/why-i-quit-social-media.mdx

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+---
+layout: "@/layouts/blogs.astro"
+title: Why I Quit Social Media
+---
+
+# {frontmatter.title}
+
+This'll be an interesting first blog as I've only ever written them when I took English, though I'd
+rather not explain the same thing repeatedly only to get farther from the truth than I'd like for
+brevity/readability - it gets annoying after a long while of having to do this when helping people
+with their code (I will die on this hill).
+
+### Who are you?
+
+For those wondering who I think I am to write this, I'm a programmer/musician that's actively helped
+in certain programming communities like Discord.py, Scripting Helpers, Hiddendevs and a little bit
+in SpeakJS (all wonderful folk). I've helped in a range of problems from basic syntax errors to
+assisting with system architecture, introductory dev-ops tasks and metathinking i.e "how do I learn
+X?", "how do I avoid burnout?", "why do I feel slow compared to X who can do Y in Z time?", etc.
+
+As a result, I've learned so much from active members and helpers present in such communities, some
+I'm still in contact with because we get along very well aside from my pandering. Hopefully that
+introduction doesn't come off as ego-stroking as I'm not the type - I had my "fun" as a teenager and
+firmly believe social status should be an urban myth (without hyperbole, almost everyone is equal in my
+eyes regardless of consequences).
+
+### So what's the reason?
+
+A bit of background first...
+
+My mother, who acted as my voice of reason even into my 20s, had passed somewhere in February. Due
+to my autism I was a temperamental person and would go out of my way to do things that would make
+anyone upset/frustrated repeatedly, as if I couldn't see the bad in it. We had history both good and
+bad, with her now out of my life it grows increasingly more difficult to remember the lessons she
+both taught me in my upbringing and that she'd left behind for me - I'm not a material person so
+this means everything to me, quite literally. I've resorted to notes to ingrain these lessons into
+me, though acting them out is a different story.
+
+Due to my "flavour" of autism, pattern recognition is weaker outside of my fixations. I'd wager
+after she passed I'd probably grown tunnel vision and resumed this weird torture hell of antics that
+I'd normally never entertain. Surrounding myself with toxicity, commonly unhelpful people, and
+picking up on their mannerisms due to my mental disorders causes a lot of trouble for others and an
+imbalance of personality for myself.
+
+### Can I avoid taking a similar path?
+
+For others in a similar path, I recommend balancing the time spent on social media and delegating it
+to other tasks before taking my nuclear choice of dropping all social media into consideration. This
+is something that was recommended to me by my brother and unfortunately has become something I am
+not able to do regarding social media - either I take it to the extreme and remove it from my life,
+or I get on every day as if I'm an addict, and I swore I'd never be. Hence, I am dropping all social
+media and giving my number to those I want to keep in my life, despite there being a chance that
+they might not get in contact at all.
+
+### Conclusion
+
+My life is much like a dirty waterwheel - I will only contaminate the water surrounding me and
+other bodies of water for as long as I turn in this state. I must break away and cleanse myself from
+"that which does not serve me." I have learned a lot from the people around me, now it is time I
+learn from myself and what my body and mind needs rather than working off guesswork for the rest of
+my life. I mean, I'm 23, I'm not old but I'm not young either, and I need to get my life together
+with my own hands regardless of my parents' presence.
+
+I appreciate those that read this far. If I've helped you before then I wish you good luck in your
+endeavours, if I've been toxic towards you then I wish you good health as I now pursue such, and to
+those that knew me - our paths will cross if it's meant to be. Good luck in your journey!
+
+Peacies.